"He who loves least holds all the power."

I read this book all in one sitting. I will start with that to establish that this book was well written - intense, descriptive. I felt it had lodged itself in the middle of my rib cage, gently but firmly pushing itself forward until I finished. For better or for worse.

I will follow that statement up with the statement that the premise of this book bothered me. With a similar vibe to My Brilliant Friend, The After Party tells the story of two women, friends since childhood. One, plainer than the other, finds herself far more devoted to her friend than vice versa. Cece, whose perspective we take through the whole novel, is obsessed with Joan. Constantly worrying about her, thinking about her, caring for her, even when Joan is cruel or thoughtless. Through their whole blooming lives. Never once do we feel that Joan reciprocates Cece's feelings. Joan hurts, scorns, rejects and humiliates Cece and Cece just takes it, gets mildly angry but then entirely forgives her friend after just a glance from Joan - taking this notion as all she needs to know that she cares for her too. 

Even when it threatens her marriage, when she can SEE that her devotion to Joan could be the undoing of all she loves, does she choose Joan. Time and time and time and time again. She chooses Joan over all else, who never chooses her back. I pity her. Though have we not all put ourselves through something similar, if not a little milder? Have we not all chosen things or people, even if sometimes unrequited? 

DiSclafani describes this longing and devotion with mastery. You can feel yourself, though frustrated at Joan, finding yourself drawn to her. You can see the ease with which she moves through the room, the energy she brings, knowing if you were there your eyes would be drawn to her too. You can feel the difference of her presence on the page the same as her presence at the club. And though she's infuriating, you find yourself caring for her because she is something special. You find yourself drawn to her because she needs to be cared for, because she deserves to be cared for. At least you feel that way, just as Cece does.

For this reason, I finished the book, thinking I had enjoyed it, because Joan was there. And for this reason I finished the book angry, because Joan was there. 

p.s. There are a couple of sex scenes in this book, two blow jobs and two actual sex scenes. The first scene, though brief, I found disturbing enough that it stuck in my brain for a while. The rest of the book managed to take the edge off. I wouldn't say the scenes are graphic, but they are indelicate. There's also a decent amount of nudity, not just in these scenes. There were six f-bombs, broken into clusters of three on two different pages. I can think of three other swears total in the rest of the book, so pretty mild on that front.